


Outside

by lolamit



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, M/M, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood Angst, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood-centric, Malec, POV Alec, Sad, Sad Alec, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-07-12 10:41:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7099567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lolamit/pseuds/lolamit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Magnus and Alec got in a fight and Alec ended up storming out of Magnus’ apartment. The next day he finds himself in front of Magnus’ front door, hand raised and ready to knock, only to turn away and leave.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Outside

**Author's Note:**

> Day 13 of my 30 Days of Writing challenge!
> 
> Thank you for reading!

Alec stared at the wooden door, his eyes falling out of focus as they filled with tears and regret. So much of him wanted to swing it open, storm in and throw himself in the arms of his boyfriend. But, he didn’t. Arms hanging limp along his body, too heavy to raise in a knock, and Alec remained staring at the only piece of material between them. 

Last night had been the worst of his life – screaming, yelling, crying – still echoing in his head, like church bells at a funeral. The way Magnus had looked at him, with anger, almost madness, filling his eyes. The way Alec’s voice had cracked when he shouted through his tears, expressing his remorse as well as his rage. The way neither of them had gotten closure, or any way of understanding nor forgiven the situation, since Alec had stormed out before apologies could be spoken. 

Now, here he was. Unable to do the simple task of knocking, silently crying as if fearful the warlock would hear him. His lungs felt tight, allowing barely no air to travel through, making it harder to breathe. His eyes were puffy – probably red, too – from all the sobbing. Weariness controlled him at this point, as he’d gotten no sleep at all that night, causing his body to feel numb and his mind to race, even though no thoughts seemed present. His brain was a void, completely empty and emotionless. The sadness that had flowed through his body had washed away, and the remorse in his veins drowned in the blood. Although, he knew what he should feel, he was unable to. 

In one last attempt, he gathered all his remaining strength as he clenched his hand into a fist, slowly bringing it up to the door, holding it still for a moment. Once he knocked, there was no turning back. Magnus would open and he would be forced to talk, forced to speak his empty mind, forced to explain what he had been trying all night to understand, but fallen short of. Once he knocked, Magnus would never look at him the same way.

Alec closed his eyes, tears running down his face, as he felt his hand grow numb. The door becoming smaller before him, realizing he’d backed away, both arms hanging immobile beside his body. He stared at the entrance for another minute, before turning around, his vision once again blurred by tears and regret.


End file.
